Folks, listen up—EVERYONE’S TALKING ABOUT GREENLAND! Tremendous place, huge, yuge! Bigger than your imagination, but SAD! Nobody’s using it right. So genius idea: WE INVADE GREENLAND! Call it TRUMPLAND—sounds better, right? Biggest brain move ever! They’ll LOVE us! Ice? Pfft, weak! We’ll build WALLS OF SNOW, 100 FEET HIGH! Keep the… uh… snow Mexicans out? Doesn’t matter—WE’LL WIN! And the GOLF? Unbelievable! Polar bears as caddies! Iceberg water hazards! FAKE GRASS, folks—so realistic you’ll think it’s real! 18 holes? NO! 45 HOLES! Because I WIN MORE HOLES THAN ANYONE! Plus, huge parking lots for snowmobiles—bigly! Greenland’s melting? FAKE NEWS! But if it melts, MORE BEACHFRONT PROPERTY! I’m a STABLE GENIUS! TrumpLandOrBust #MakeGolfColdAgain #SnowWallPaidForByGreenland #PolarBearsLoveMe #45HolesOfVictory (Note: This is a parody. Please do not invade Greenland.)