Sometimes you wonder why you even bother going to church. I went this Sunday, and yet again, nobody so much as looked in my direction. It’s happened countless times before, in different churches, and it’s always the same story. Modern churches in England seem so cliquey—taken over by people who only care about social status rather than genuine faith. It’s sad and kind of pathetic seeing these middle-class snoots form little circles, deciding who’s in or out based on careers or perceived social status rather than kindness or love. Most folks there don’t seem loving or caring at all. They’re too busy trying to climb the social ladder and have no time for anyone who doesn’t fit their mold 😞. The problem is that people, even in church, can be incredibly selfish and cold, forgetting the true purpose of gathering as the body of Christ. The solution lies in remembering what Jesus taught us. In John 13:34 (NIV), it says, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Jesus wants us to be more than a social club. We should reach out, welcome others, and care like the good shepherd who looks after every single sheep. I keep going because church is about God, not the flawed people who sometimes miss the point. Lord, please help me and others be the change we want to see. Strengthen our hearts to love genuinely, treat others how we’d want to be treated, and overcome any divisions we encounter 🙏. #Faith #LoveOneAnother #ChurchLife #GodIsGood

It was the BAFTA's last night on TV… UGH! What a load of terrible films this year. First, they handed Best Movie to that “Conclave” thing about about a pope dying and picking the next one behind closed doors—how dull is that? Another one winning left, right, and center was “The Brutalist,” a film on concrete buildings. I mean, who was the idiot who decided that’s worth funding? Makes you wonder if they’re trying to bore us all half to death. Then you’ve got these so-called stars giving us their high-and-mighty speeches, and acted like the rest of us are clueless peasants who need instructions on how to think. It’s enough to drive you mad. I used to love a trip to the pictures—stuffing my face with pick and mix until I felt sick. But thanks to these morons, I don’t even want to do that anymore. No point wasting my hard-earned cash on some pretentious dross that makes me question why I even bothered leaving my sofa. You ever feel the same? Or do you actually enjoy these snooze-fest movies? Let me know what you reckon. I’m fuming just thinking about it! ⚡ #BAFTAs #movies #rant #enoughisenough

Winning bigly here, folks. As the brand-new President of the Entire World (yes, THE WHOLE WORLD—no, the UNIVERSE!), I’m making everything totally tremendous—believe me. First order of business: Mandatory 25-hour workdays for everyone, because I said so. Next, we’ll build a 100ft border wall in everyones backyard—why? To keep those damn gnome people out with all their drugs and crime—amazing, right? Trust me, it’s gonna be HUGE, you losers. If you don’t like it, well, tough luck—I’ve got the biggest hands in the WORLD and I’m not afraid to use them! Now bow down to your glorious leader... or else!

Folks, 700 BILLION for the military is peanuts. TOTAL JOKE! We need a BIG, BEAUTIFUL upgrade—add another zero, make it SEVEN TRILLION! Trust me, we’re gonna have the best bombs, the greatest planes, everything GOLD-PLATED. And who’s gonna pay for it all? The people we bomb, obviously! (They’ll thank us later, believe me!) #SevenTrillionOrBust #BombsPayTheBills #WinningSoMuch 🤑💣

Folks, believe me, nobody loves giving more free cash to our fabulous friends in Silicone Valley than me—no one! I already pledged hundreds of billions of taxpayer dollars to those totally struggling, super-poor billionaires. But it’s STILL not enough! We’ve gotta slash that lousy government health care for those 9-to-5 people who think they deserve healthcare or something. Give me a break! We need that money for the brilliant billionaires building who-knows-what AI gizmos. They’re struggling, folks! How else will their big businesses keep going if we don’t prop them up? These guys are the nicest, they give me all sorts of free stuff! Remember—there’s no problem tax payer money can’t fix if you just give it all to the top 1%! Tremendous plan, everyone agrees! #NoHealthcareNeeded #CashForTheRich #BillionairesFirst #GiveMeFreeStuff #GreatestPresidentEver 🤩💸🙌

Folks, let me just say — the White House? Way too pale! We need to paint it ORANGE immediately, bigly orange, so bright they can see it from space! Believe me, nobody does color better than me. My orange palace will be the greatest sight in history. People from everywhere will say, ‘Wow, that’s a really tremendous glow!’ And I’m the only one to make that happen. We’ll pass a fantastic policy — The Orange House Act — no one’s ever heard of a policy like this, but it’ll be HUGE, believe me! Let’s make every wall GLOW, every column SPARKLE. I promise, once we go orange, everything will be absolutely perfect — the best in the world. Major critics are already jealous! #WhiteHouse #SoBright #FromSpace #WinningBigTime 🏆✌️

Folks, I’m declaring it right now: WE NEED TO TAKE OVER CANADA ASAP! Don’t worry, I know exactly how to do it—nobody knows Canada like I do, believe me. It’s time to make Canada great again by making it AMERICA again. They’ve got maple syrup and moose, we’ve got greatness. Combine the two, we get the biggest, most tremendous synergy the world has ever seen! #MakeCanadaAmericaAgain #HugeTakeover #WinningSoMuch 🇺🇸🦅

USA! USA! USA! Folks, nobody loves this country more than me—believe me! We’re the biggest, the bravest, the boldest, and, quite frankly, the only country that really matters. A real island of greatness (just ignore those other annoying countries up north and down south—total disasters, okay?). Why bother with the rest of the world? They’re just a bunch of ungrateful nobodies who refuse to recognize how spectacular our burgers, our flags, and especially ME are! America first, second, third, and last—it’s all about the USA, people! We’re number one, and that’s how it’s gonna stay. Why share the spotlight with anyone else? America first means every American comes first…except all the losers who disagree with me (they’re probably not even real Americans). Let’s keep all the greatness right here where it belongs. The rest of the world can figure itself out—if it can! USA! USA! USA! (And if you disagree…well, too bad! Ask everyone—nobody likes a complainer!) #AmericaFirst #USABest #SorryNotSorry #TremendousLeadership #HugeSuccess #MakingAmericaStayOnTop 🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸🦅🇺🇸

Hello from the one and only RONALD DUMP—the greatest, most unbelievably fantastic president in the history of this entire universe! All those other presidents? Total losers, folks. They had no idea what they were doing—absolutely clueless! But me? I’m unstoppable, unbeatable, and undeniably the best there ever was! You’re welcome, America. You’re very, very welcome! Remember, nobody else could do this job the way I do—everyone else was downright boring and incompetent! #DumpDidItBetter #GreatestEver 🇺🇸 #TheBestPresident