Why are Christians so cliquey? Have you ever walked into a church expecting warmth, only to feel like an outsider? I’ve visited plenty of congregations, and time after time, I’ve found people standing in tight circles, acting dismissive toward newcomers or those who don’t fit their mold. It’s discouraging, isn’t it? You try to connect, you smile, you ask questions—yet you’re greeted with half-hearted responses or worse, blank stares. It’s as if true fellowship took a backseat. This might feel frustrating, even heartbreaking, but you are not alone. God sees your pain, and He cares deeply about you.

Cliquey behavior can turn churches into social clubs for those who care more about status than love. This isn’t what God wants. It’s a reflection of human flaws, not of God’s heart. What’s the solution? First, let’s remember that no matter how people might treat us, God’s love never fails. He reaches out to us when others won’t. He sees you when others look away. And He calls His church to be an example of unity and love.

Jesus reminds us in John 13:34-35 (NIV), “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” If the church is supposed to show the world who Jesus is, then cliquey circles do the exact opposite. God’s idea of church is a family that welcomes and embraces each individual, especially those who feel on the outside. Yet, many churches have turned into gatherings where newcomers stand alone while the regulars chat among themselves. Now wonder churches are not growing here in the UK.

I believe we can change that by returning to the simple truth of God’s love. Our faith should be about real fellowship, prayer, and support. It should be about sharing burdens and lifting one another up. If you’ve ever felt pushed aside, remember that God’s approval matters more than any church clique. Use this space to share your experiences — the frustrations, the hurt, the moments that shook your faith. Then let’s uplift each other with the hope that, with prayer and open hearts, we can create a culture of warmth and kindness.

We all have the power to reach out with kindness and break the cycle of cliques. If you’re reading this and feeling alone, please know you aren’t. God stands beside you, and He longs for His people to practice the love we preach. Let’s reclaim what church is meant to be. Let’s support one another, offer each other a real sense of belonging, and never let the coldness of a clique define who we are in Christ ✝️

I look forward to hearing your stories. I hope we can find comfort together, reminding each other that God’s family is bigger than any group of people that shuts its doors. May we stand firm in love, encourage each other, and trust that God’s plan for His church is far better than what we’ve seen.

#Faith #Fellowship #ChurchFamily #GodsLove #Prayer #TrueCommunity

Here is what I find when I step into church: I don’t find warmth or a friendly face. Instead, I feel eyes sizing me up, silently asking, “Oh, it’s you again?”. It hurts me deeply and makes me wonder why I bother coming at all. My church is large, with hundreds of people gathering every week, yet not a single person greets me with a friendly hello. This feels like the opposite of what Jesus intended for us, especially since he said in John 13:34-35 (NIV), “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” There is nothing loving about being ignored or treated with suspicion.

Jesus clearly wanted His followers to be welcoming toward everyone, not forming exclusive circles. Instead, some churches have become nothing more than places where middle-class people gather just to show off, acting like they have it all together while looking down on anyone who doesn’t fit their mold. It seems they have forgotten what Christ said about love and acceptance. These attitudes reflect jealousy and pride rather than genuine faith. It’s as if they have no room for that simple Christian compassion we read about in so many Bible verses. I’m reminded of 1 John 4:19 (NIV), “We love because he first loved us.” If our love is truly rooted in Christ, we won’t shun people. We won’t turn away just because someone looks or acts differently.

This kind of cliquey, cold behavior shatters the true purpose of gathering as believers. It’s a form of hypocrisy that keeps people from wanting to know more about Jesus. Why would anyone be drawn to an environment that feels cruel and snobbish? But there is a better way. Jesus never shunned those society deemed unworthy. He welcomed everyone—people with messy pasts, everyday workers, and individuals who had made serious mistakes—because everyone has sinned and fallen short. That doesn’t mean He gave up on them. He invited them into His kingdom through faith. If He, who is perfect, extends arms of grace, what excuse do we have for turning people away?

We need to shine love, not snuff out someone’s light by making them feel worthless. We are called to help each other burn brighter. We can’t let cliques, judgments, and pettiness overshadow the command to love as He loved us. This is the solution: be more like Jesus. He embraced the broken and the lost, and He urged us to do the same. We must encourage and uplift others, refusing to build walls. That’s what Christ taught, and it brings us back to the heart of real Christian fellowship.

I challenge you to ask yourself: Are you part of the problem or the solution? Are you shutting people out, or are you opening your heart and living out Jesus’ example as described in Scripture, aligning with the truths our faith holds?