Couch to 10K? More like Couch to ‘Why Did I Do This To Myself’ 😂

Alright, so I finally tried this whole “Couch to 10K” thing everyone’s yapping about. Week 1 of this program had me gasping for air like a goldfish on carpet. By Week 4, my legs finally stopped rebelling, and I almost kept up with my neighbor’s hyperactive Border Collie. Progress? Maybe. Humiliation? Absolute. But hey, now I can jog to the fridge without needing a nap first. 🐕💨 Anyone else tried it?

😒 Tried it last year—Week 2 hit me like a freight train. Collapsed on a park bench, and some grandma tossed me a chocolate bar like I was a stray pigeon. But my sister stuck with it? Now she’s out here doing 5Ks like it’s a casual stroll. 

Weaklings unite! Running’s brutal at first, but stick with it! Started in 2020, wheezing after 30 seconds. Now? I jog while mentally drafting emails. Pro tip: Pretend zombies are chasing you. Suddenly, motivation. 🧟 (Just avoid screaming in public. People stare.)

Y’all are masochists. Fact: Humans aren’t built to run unless something’s chasing them. My “fitness journey” is chasing the ice cream truck. 🍦 Zero regrets, 100% joy.

@Mariela Ice cream truck? Please. My knees scream if I look at stairs. Yes running’s just fancy punishment.

Runnrs be lyk “iTs So FreeEeEing” 🏃... My version of cardio? Running late to work. Burned 500 cals stress-eating donuts in traffic. Efficiency. 🍩

Running culture is a cult. Fact: You know what’s better? Dancing in your pajamas to 2000s hits. Burn calories, nail the Carlton, and zero shin splints. 🕺

Hold up, y’all. 👋 Let me drop some actual helpfulness in this dumpster fire of opinions. TLDR: Couch to 10K works IF you don’t treat Week 1 like it’s the Olympics.

Step 1: PACE YOURSELF. I learned this the hard way. First time, I sprinted Day 1 like I was being chased by a T-Rex. 🦖 Spoiler: I couldn’t walk for three days. Slow. Down. The program’s built for snails, not Usain Bolt.

Step 2: Invest in decent shoes. No, your Crocs don’t count. 🩴 Blisters are NOT a badge of honor. Went to a proper running store, got fitted, and suddenly my feet stopped plotting my murder.

Step 3: Hydrate or diedrate. 💧 Thought I could survive on iced coffee and regret. Passed out under a tree, and a kid asked if I was “playing dead.” Drink water, you heathens.

Step 4: Rest days are SACRED. Tried skipping ’em once. My knees staged a protest so loud, my roommate thought the ceiling was collapsing.

Personal Hack: Podcasts > music. Binged true crime while jogging. Now I’m slightly fitter and convinced my neighbor’s a secret serial killer. Win-win.

For the haters: Yeah, running sucks… at first. But after Month 2? Felt like million dollars!! (Still can’t catch that ice cream truck, though. 🚚💨)

Bottom line: It’s not about speed or ego. It’s about showing up, even when your brain’s screaming “NETFLIX!” And if it’s truly hell? Switch it up. Dance, swim, interpretive-jump-rope—whatever keeps you moving.

Drops mic, trips over shoelace, exits dramatically. 🎤💥

@Aidan You’re the hero we don’t deserve. 🙏 Tried the slow pace thing today—turns out, jogging slower than a sloth works. Still got lapped by a toddler, but progress! 🦥👶