Nina Garcia, judge of the Emmy-nominated series Project Runway has announced the winner of the Yaz Pill Pack design contest. Aspiring handbag designer Elayne Mayes of Green Village, New Jersey won. Elayne’s winning design will allow her to jumpstart her fashion design career with a $10,000 prize.

OK, not really, but I thought if I said something nice perhaps you could at least pretend. But no, not you. That crappy reality show of yours is sinking faster than the stock market. But you just don't know how to leave well enough alone, do you?

Looking back, that whole gender question seems pretty small. If only things had stayed that simple. Now you've all learned the hard way that he doesn't always know best. Who'd have thought you'd end up on top? Don't flatter yourself, though; it wasn't a big heap.

I bet you were the kind of kid who never liked to share your toys. These days it's the spotlight you like to hog. You've been riding that whole reality show wave for a while now, but the smoke and mirrors is wearing thin, and people are starting to realize you've got little style and no substance. We won't even bring up the fact that you're more than likely functionally illiterate.

Dahling, how do you do it all? You've written books and designed landmark buildings. You were a trailblazer and taught all the others how to be a cougar with class. You even survived a cheesy reality show. But will you survive this marriage?