Yes, it's true. Cap'n Kirk and Dead Eyes from The Hills are now a couple. This less-than-startling revelation begs the question: who's fame-whorin' who? Sounds like a toss-up.

I haven't seen the new Star Trek movie, and really have no plans to. I grew up on the original, and just can't see anyone but Shatner and Nimoy in those roles. Nobody can ham it up like Shatner, and no one can play straight man opposite him like Nimoy. Call me old-fashioned. Some things are better off left alone.

But the role of Captain Kirk is a plum role for a young actor, and I guess Chris Pine should consider himself lucky. He's gone from being relatively unknown to starring in a summer blockbuster. I hear his friends are griping that he's suddenly very full of himself. Only makes sense that he should take up with someone who is equally full of herself - Audrina "Flatline" Partridge, she of the lifeless eyes and buoyant breasts. They're actually perfect for each other. Can you imagine the conversation at their table? I think this one will be over before the movie goes to DVD.