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Kimberly Stewart: String Mop On Crack

Take a Hollywood loser who inherited her father's craggy facial features. Add a shapeless kimono-style jacket open to the navel, a pair of tres-passe capris and Grandma's orthopedic mules and what do you get?

I'm not quite sure, but it reminds me of those hairy little troll pencil-toppers with the googly eyes. Kimberly's eyes aren't googly in this picture, but that's only because she just walked in. A few mojitos and a couple of bumps in the restroom and she'll be all fired up.


Of course, Kimberly dresses like this because she thinks she's hot. Why does she think she's hot? Well, that's what all the hired help says. It's also what the goblins in the club say right before last call, but she hasn't figured that out yet.

Note to Princess Crusty Shorts: Get a haircut. You can afford it. I'm sure Daddy still spots you a nice four-figure allowance each week. Stop trying to dress like some sexy mama, because even on a good day, you look like Daddy after a good three-day bender. And for God's sake, give Grandma back her shoes, before she makes your brother rub her bunions again.













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