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Horror Movie Review: "Saw"

"IMAGINE 'FEAR FACTOR' ON STEROIDS -- and you have a few bloody pieces of the movie "Saw" -- which actually does have someone having to Saw their own leg off. Here's the basics: "two captives, each shackled by an ankle to a rusty pipe on opposite sides of a filthy subterranean bathroom," -- one of them has a deadly mission to do or die.

They follow hidden clues left by their abductor on a micro-cassette recorder-- the Gory game slowly emerge.

NOT FOR THE FAINT AT HEART: "Moral reprobates who need to be taught, in the harshest possible way, to value life," is the set-up. Would you kill someone to save yourself? Do you value life around you? No? -- then you need to be taught a lesson

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October 29, 2004

There Are More Important Issues Here

Okay, so you, like me, may not be familiar with the likes of Al Goldstein, so allow me to sum up.

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October 29, 2004


Pepsi Co. has announced it will film promotional spots featuring Beyonce Knowles and Jennifer Lopez going head to head with David Beckham in a series of martial arts challenges. A date for filming can not yet be set because Beckham is recovering from two broken ribs which he suffered in a soccer match. When it comes to the cola wars, I have always preferred Chateau Margaux; nonetheless, in this case I do sincerely hope that the best girl wins.


October 28, 2004

Another Day In Paris-dise

In today's edition of the ongoing battle between the haves (or is it have's? I don't know.) and the have-nots, the have-nots lose. Again.

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Twat? I Cunt Hear You.

The Chicago Sun Times decided to pull it out a bit too late this Tuesday night. Coming within a hair (and I'm sure you know what kind of hair- wink, wink) of distributing editions containing an article with the title "You Cunt Say That (or Can You?)", editors decided to pull the story after it had already been printed. (Which means the staff had to spend five hours yanking the offending piece manually.) Awesome. People screwing up is so cool.

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I've Got A Fever... And The Only Prescription... Is More Tesh

If there is one thing I've always been very clear on, it would be that if I'm promised John Tesh and you don't deliver, not only am I out the door, I'm seeking some serious retribution for my pain, suffering, and mental anguish. Lucky for the folks at "South Florida Today" that their audience was more passive than I.

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