Church is the last place you expect to be not welcome but this Sunday I went to a church BBQ and was given the cold shoulder by everyone. This happened even after the service before the BBQ was all about everyone being united and being inclusive to everyone! This has really knocked my confidence and has really damaged my faith in people. This was my fifth time going to the church in sheffield (I will not name the church as this wouldn’t be fair) to help me become a better Christian and for me to make new friends seeing as I am new to the Sheffield area. Initially I was given a very warm welcome by one or two people at the church and reckoned with time I would get to meet more people and make lots of great friends.. and had high hopes that at the BBQ I would be able to do this.
But sadly I was very much mistaken as at the BBQ literally nobody could be bothered to speak to me or even give me the time of day by smiling at me.. I felt like a complete spare part just wondering aimlessly around waiting and hoping that someone would at least think “Hey, that’s a new person is on their own, I think I will just introduce myself to him and introduce him to my friends as well” but that never happened.. One of the reasons I started going to church was to meet people at to help restore my faith in other people.. after getting severely bullied at school which has given me huge self esteem issues as well so this has been a real blow to me the fact that even at church I am not accepted and nobody wants to talk to me. When I got home after an hour and half at the BBQ feeling lonely I got home and started having super negative thoughts about what I have done for people to hate me so much… and even that maybe I’m not a good enough person to be a Christian and these people could sense that so that’s why they ignored me but no! Absolutely anyone can be a Christian!! Christianity isn’t a clique and everyone should be welcome at church and not ignored……. For anyone who has had a similar experience at church what I say to you is this don’t let this get you down or beat you as god is your friend no matter what and is always there for you.. If anyone is reading this and you are a pastor, preacher or just a church goer please include everybody in your church because luckily enough for me my faith in god is strong and Im not going to let this experience stop me from being a Christian obviously but if I can imagine if someone was just starting out being a Christian and received the cold shoulder like this then this really is not good at all and could make them loose confidence in Christianity as that person may then WRONGLY think that this is what Christianity is all about when it is not so I beg you to please not give anyone the cold shoulder and make a super effort to include everyone and make them feel welcome also even people that have been going to church for a while make sure you still make an effort with them and above all don’t just loose interest and give up on them. Treat other how you expect to be treated.
Im not going to stop going to the church and I will try my best to keep on making and effort but I guess there isn’t anything stopping me from going to two different churches on Sunday too so does anyone from Sheffield know of a good church I can go to that will accept me for who I am?
I have woken up this morning still feeling down and deflated thanks to yesterday. Maybe this church just isnt right for me as even though I agree with a lot of things they say at the service I do not agree with something’s this church believe in. For example at the church they seem to think that you can buy a miracle… because the more money you give to the church the more blessed you will be. I kind of feel awkward aswell when they pass the bucket around because I am unemployed/self employed and really struggling at the moment and only earn practically £10 a week so even though I do like giving money to the church £2 is all I can give which doesn’t sound much but that is actually quite a lot of money to me (seriously here in the uk you don’t get any benefits at all and if it wasn’t for my parents I would be on the streets) if I earned more money I would give more money to help others (not in return for a miracle though) but when there saying to get your credit cards out and to give lots of money I kind of feel bad.
Also there seems to be a really big divide in the church between white people and black people it really is a huge shame because there is no mixing at all as the white people go off to one side of the church in their groups whilst the black people go off to the other side of the church in their groups and don’t speak to each other.
Should I find a new church? I have posted on a couple Christian forum to get some opinions and the message I got back is that all churches are different and there are plenty of other churches out there that are not cliquey like this.