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December 20, 2005
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Sir Elton John ♥ David Furnish |
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When Prince Charles wed Camilla, they did so in Windsor’s Guildhall. Wednesday, December 21, 2005 two real live queens will be married in that same place. Sir Elton John and his devoted long-time companion David Furnish shall be wed, under a new English law which makes the United States appear an international human rights laughing stock.
William Jefferson Clinton, who initiated the U.S. military’s loathsome and homophobic “Don’t ask, don’t tell� policy, has taped a congratulatory message for the homosexual couple. The Bosh doesn’t quite know where he gets off doing that. Had Hillary actively lobbied for gay rights in New York (which, because of widespread tolerance in New York City, has the greatest concentration of gay persons in the country) any number of American celebrities might already have come out and gotten hitched here.
While the John-Furnish ceremony will be an intimate family affair, the reception will be a celebrity-studded mega-event. An American television channel offered the couple 10 fat million to cover the ceremony, and even offered to donate the money to a charity, but John and Furnish chose not to turn the most important moment of their lives into a media feeding frenzy. The Bosh stops just short of apologizing to Queen Elizabeth II for the American Revolution. (By Scott Rose)
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December 6, 2005
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An Iceberg A Day Keeps The Cruise Ship Away |
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Thanks to a History Channel investigation complete with analysis by experts at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, we now have evidence that the Titanic sank faster than was previously believed. A documentary regarding the finds will air February 26.
The faster sink theory revolves around two pieces of hull found on the ocean floor some 300 miles off Newfoundland. It is not clear whether Leonardo DiCaprio would have had a career, had the theory been accepted prior to 1997. Whereas before it was believed that the Titanic had cracked in two, now it is thought she broke in several places.
The explorer Robert Ballard, who in 1985 was the first to find substantial parts of the sunken luxury liner, is not won over by the History Channel’s findings. He said: “They found a fragment, big deal. Am I surprised? No. When you go down there, there’s stuff all over the place. It hit an iceberg and it sank. Get over it.� The Bosh of course recognizes that as a compelling scientific rebuttal to the new theory.
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November 23, 2005
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Vatican Speaks Against Gay Seminarians |
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The Vatican has issued an edict (that's like an e-mail, only with a dict) banning from its fabulous celibate priesthood fags of whatever kind. Among the kinds of fags not welcome to devote themselves to celibacy and veneration of the Virgin Mary are those who support "the so-called 'gay culture.'" Opinion divides as to when the so-called 'gay culture' began to take hold. Sappho lived from 630BC to 612BC, but the bible doesn't even recognize that humans existed in that period, and there's no way that Sappho's lesbian-themed lyric poems can be considered culture anyhow.
Michelangelo (1475 - 1564) came later in time but as a supporter of the so-called 'gay culture' has rightfully made Ratzinger's shit list. Working on a scaffolding of his own design, lying on his back for years to fulfill his vision, the so-called artist completed the Sistine Chapel ceiling; but you call that culture? To top it off, when Michelangelo died, he did so in the arms of his lover Tommaso dei Cavlieri, having written for him hundreds of sonnets, which of course pale in comparison, as culture, to so much as a fart from the pope's blessed behind.
Who wrote "Rubyfruit Jungle"? What is that piece of utter trash known as "Death in Venice"? Rudolph Nureyev; you know where he liked to take it. The Bosh salutes The Vatican for its long delayed, much needed condemnation of the so-called 'gay culture.' (By Scott Rose)
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November 11, 2005
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The Devil and Intelligent Design |
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Where's the warranty? That's what The Bosh wants to know about the product called "life," alleged to have been intelligently designed. As a reminder, proponents of "Intelligent Design" say that just as you can look at a toilet and tell that it had to have been designed by somebody, so too can you look at a living organism, such as an erect penis, and deduce that it took a really, really intelligent designer to fold the thing out of the way when not in use.
The Bosh has other ideas. We think an example of intelligent design is the Lamborghini Diablo (the Spanish word for Devil). Lamborghini super cars have been evolving ever since their introduction to the market in 1963. Unlike the so-called "intelligent" design theory, a Lamborghini does not have to be forced on anyone; indeed, no person who was offered one for free has ever turned it down.
We even know who the intelligent designers of Lamborghini automobiles are. Bizzarini, Dallara and Stanzani were responsible for the first models, for example. This type of intelligent design has everything to do with horse power, and nothing to do with horse poop, of which there is entirely too much in Kansas and the White House. If any readers have knowledge of the actual designer of the erect penis, please extend our intelligent thanks to her. (By Scott Rose)
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November 1, 2005
A bumper crop of royals has been seeing the light of day across Europe this year. On October 14, Prince Frederick of Denmark and his consort Mary were blessed with the birth of a prince. In Spain, los Principes de Asturias, Felipe de Borbon and Letizia Ortiz this week welcomed into the world la Infanta Leonor.
Both Denmark and Spain, having liberalized policy towards gays, must now do so towards their actual princesses. Still part of the constitutions in those countries is the requirement that a male heir to the throne, if available, take precedent over a female. The constitutional changes are expected to be made without resistance, and if they are not, perhaps a prince will surprise everybody by having a sex change operation.
William Alexander of Orange and his Argentine princess Maxima Zorreguieta made all Holland smile on June 26 when their second daughter Alexia was born. Belgium did not refrain from the festivities; Phillipe and Matilde presented the kingdom in question with their third son, Emmanuel. And finally, the Royal House of Norway is pleased that in December, Prince Haakon and Princess Mette-Marit will be giving their first child, Princess Ingrid, a regal sibling. (By Scott Rose)
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