It's amazing what they can do with today's fabrics. Years ago Marilyn Monroe had to be sewn into a dress to sing "Happy Birthday" to the President, but that was before the birth of spandex, Spanx and such. Even with all that help, however, sometimes it's worse than when it started.
Today's good news is one Beth Ditto, lead singer of The Gossip and the closest thing to Mama Cass we've seen in years. She's big, yes, but she's powerfully talented and not a bit shy about her ample body. Beth wore this year's It dress, Leger's bandaid dress, and wore it better than any size 0 model. Of course she stripped it off halfway into her set, but we've come to expect that from Ms. Ditto. May she rock on.
On the bad news front this week we have a woman who's usually all about the good news, Beyonce. No, she's not wearing the bandaid dress, but she's trussed up so tightly that dress would probably hang off her anyway. Whether intentional or not, Miss B's extreme abdominal constriction has created a hoop skirt effect on what would be a knockout dress any other day. The girl looks like she's in pain. The girl must be in pain with her midsection so tightly compressed. Someone could get hurt if that thing lets loose.
The moral here? It's OK to be a normal woman with a normal woman's body and eat what you want because of nifty things like spandex and other space-age materials ... but what will they say when you finally take it off? How do you explain to a hot new boyfriend that you may look like a size 6 but you're really a size 20? Your best bet is to just keep him liquored up and he'll never notice.
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