Our good news buddy is our favorite Slumdog-slappin', coochie-flashin' maneater, Sharon Stone, who wore this stunning strapless gown to the BAFTA's. The color is perfect for her - it matches the lasers that shoot out of her eyes when you make her angry - and the cut is soft yet sexy enough to draw attention from that tautly stretched face and bedhead hair. She needs to hide her nipples better, though. She's either cold or really het up, as the old folks say.

Our bad news bear is totem-head, horsey-faced Tori Spelling, who looks like she's lost half her body weight in the last couple of months. She looks like nothing but skin, bones and teeth - look at how tiny her waist is! Dita Von Teese must be spitting nails. But Tori doesn't look good so skinny, and the bright red of her dress only makes all those points and corners more noticeable. That girl needs to go grab a sandwich and stick to pastels.

With all that said, don't let our good news, bad news deter you from trying a little crimson flash in your wardrobe. There are many shades of red, and each one is as expressive as the last. The right red says more than black ever could; unfortunately, so does the wrong one. If you're not sure, stick to plain old black like you always do. It's what we've come to expect.