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November 9, 2008

Fashion Good News, Bad News: Mischa Barton. Brace Yourself



I'll try to make this as painless as possible, but you might want to exercise discretion. It is seldom that such advanced decomposition is seen on a subject still allegedly alive.

I think whoever is acting as Mischa's stylist is the same person who's keeping her pupils dilated like saucers. It kind of goes hand-in-hand; if they feed enough stuff into her head they can throw just about anything on her and she'll wear it. Happily.

As bad as she usually looks, there is some good news to report: Mischa appears to be wearing more clothes these days. Which is good, considering the rapid curdling of her curves. So we have to look at less of her, which would seem to be a good thing. Unfortunately, it's really not helping things. As you will see in Exhibit A, even in long sleeves and boot cut jeans, Mischa no longer looks slim. Her thighs look positively Mimi in that shot. Not convinced? That's a full-sized Sheepdog walking next to her.
mischa%20costume%20chubby%20washed%20up%20loser%20stoner.jpg
In Exhibit B, Mischa attempts a bit of nautical whimsy with this gold-accented get-up. With those eyes, she looks more like that girl that worked on The Love Boat before she cranked herself into oblivion. She keeps showing up for work like that and the Cap'n will set her adrift in a lifeboat.
mischa%20bug%20eyed%20seaman.jpg
Finally, and sadly, in Exhibit C Mischa shows signs of reverting to her true nature, that of a flesh-baring, bleary-eyed club troll. On almost any other woman that dress would have been glamorous and sexy; on Mischa it just looks like the desperate attempt it is. It's interesting to note that no pictures were snapped of her from the rear, an industry staple for such a revealing cut. Mischa would set herself on fire before she let a photographer shoot her from behind. She's not stupid; she knows her sags and bags have no place on the red carpet. It's not the publicity she's courting by attending these events; it's the open bar. She can put away gallons in no time.
mischa%20does%20greek.jpg



 






 

 

 

 






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