Do they still call them magicians, or is the correct term illusionist? Whatever you call him, he's certainly ... opportunistic, always showing up for the pap shot. Britney, Cameron, Pamela ... he's hit 'em all, if for nothing else a photo and mention on a tabloid sheet. Has he met his perfect match in Holly Madison?

They seem to be cut from the same cloth. He a connoisseur of fooling the eye and mind, she the type who doesn't mind when you give her the eye. Criss Angel has gone from a two-bit street performer to a Vegas headliner (although the reviews for his $100 million show, Believe, are decidedly bad). He also caught himself a bad case of divorce when his wife got sick of reading tabloid stories of him with women like Cameron Diaz and Britney Spears. (He was also engaged to Minnie Driver.) He always seems to find them when they're struggling in the spotlight, and always gets himself into the money shots. There's never been anything to suggest he actually slept with any of these women, but he's not denying anything.

Along comes Holly Madison, fresh from her stint as one of Hef's girfriends at the Playboy Mansion. A former centerfold, she's sure not shy about doing whatever it takes to be famous, even if that means sharing an 80-something-year-old man with two other bimbos. And when rumors of Hef's financial worries hit the news, Holly hit the road. Convenient, eh?

Holly and Criss denied their romantic involvement until recently, when they were photographed at a club sucking on each other's tongues. Before he had money she wouldn't have given him the time of day, but now that he's got a lucrative gig with Cirque du Soleil he's suddenly good enough. The two of them are so parasitic they really deserve each other. Just looking at their pictures makes my tummy do funny things.