Let's face it. Mariah is the best thing to come along in Nick's life. His own career couldn't claw its way past the D list. At best, he faced a few years of supporting roles in TV movies, a run of late-night infomercials, or maybe a hosting gig or two. His first high-profile romance was with Victoria's Secret model Selita Ebanks. He proposed to her via Times Square jumbotron in May of '97 - but their engagement didn't even last out the year. Citing career commitments and "fundamental" differences, they decided to call it a break.

Nick and Mariah met while filming one of her videos, and within months, they were married. Just like that. While it was originally rumored they wed without a prenuptial agreement, that was hotly denied by Mariah's peeps. And really, would you expect anything less from Mariah? She may be hopelessly lost in a world of butterflies and countless servants, but this girl is a New Yorker. She knows how to make money, and she knows how to keep it. How much do you think a towel fetcher (or brow blotter or sippy cup holder) really makes?

How does Nick keep Mimi happy? He stays two steps behind her. He acts more like her personal valet than her husband. He doesn't open his mouth without her OK, and she gives him the script. Nick is a smart boy; he knows how to tow the line. Now if he can only get her pregnant he'll be set for life. And maybe if she's got a baby to play with he can get out of the house now and then. He doesn't dare leave her alone; she might take away his shopping allowance again.