Let's face it. Pamela Anderson will date (and sleep with) anyone. Factor in any possible income potential and it's a shoo-in. Since we all know Jacko doesn't actually have sex with women, it seems like an easy break for Pam. And for Michael as well, considering she supposedly has Hepatitis A through Z.

Pam's got a reality show to make. She needs something big to draw in the viewers. Even the dodos who watch reality shows usually fade out after the first couple of episodes, and the whole reunion with Tommy Lee thing didn't cause the media uproar they'd hoped for. What better draw than a notorious recluse who likes little boys and wears nothing but pajama pants everywhere he goes. Speaking of, what's up with that? Does he have some hideous disorder that prohibits him from wearing normal pants? Just creepy.

Pam, being the media whore that she is, will milk this freak on a leash for everything it's worth. It works out well for both of them - she can keep feeding that 800-lb. snow monster on her back, and Jacko will have a little traveling money. He's got to make it to the next housesitting gig. You know, where he sits in someone's house until they threaten legal action to get him out.