Frizzy, crimped, burnt-to-a-crisp-looking hair is not sexy. It looks like the business end of a battered dust mop. It makes anyone look like a wicked witch. Combine it with fire-engine red lips and a Darth Vader death stare, and you barely notice that Christina's big nursing boobies are hanging out again.

Or maybe the sheer black shirt overrunning with mother's milk was a last-ditch effort to distract the viewer's attention from that bleached out Brillo pad on her head. I hope that's not her real hair; it'll be falling out in clumps with that kind of follicular abuse. Besides, she looks too much like Dee Snyder from Twisted Sister for my comfort. It's creepy.

There are certain 80s trends that I could stand not to see again. Mom jeans and frizzy perms are at the top of that list. They look good on no one. Worse yet, there are women still walking around in their vintage 80s do's and duds; seeing young girls perpetrate that fashion disaster again is more than I can bear. Seriously.