Subject # 1 is everyone's favorite mommy, Angelina Jolie, who is positively immense with the double load she confirmed she's bearing, yet she looks comfy and carefree in this gorgeous dress. It subtly shows off her swelling swells without making her look all swollen. She must be incredibly strong to carry those mammoth milk bags and the Wonder Twins. They probably weigh more than she did when she conceived. She looks radiant.

On the other side of the equation is young Miss Jamie Lynn Spears, world famous teen mother and baby sister to the woman who's feeding most of the Federline clan as well as their lawyers, agents and security guards, not to mention an army of nannies so that Papa can have his blunt, his 40 and his ho's. Jamie Lynn was hoping to get her mother off her back by sabotaging her career; her mother will more than likely take the baby and send her back to Nickelodeon to salvage what's left of her career. Jamie Lynn's misery is painfully evident in her choice of psychedelic sundress and plant-me daffodil-yellow peekaboo slingbacks. This poor kid should have never been allowed to have sleepovers with her boyfriend at 16, and will likely never get over this. She's even getting Britney's linebacker shoulders. Will postpartum depression send her over the edge, too?

The morale of the story is to wear neutral colors, loose billowy layers and sensible shoes when you're all knocked up. Tight, loud prints and truck stop honey shoes don't work on little mamas ... especially when they're just kids themselves.