If forced to choose between these two outfits, I'd have to go with the ... dress on the left, although even the model wearing it looks madder than a wet hen, as my grandmother likes to say. I don't know if that's just a really big boa or if she's wearing some kind of weird feather shirt. The bottom half gets weirder still - it looks like your grandmother's kitchen window curtains - curtain on top, sheers, curtain on bottom. And it's every bit as sexy as kitchen window treatments, too.

The dress, if that's what it is, on the right is a different matter altogether. It looks like she's wearing one of those bathroom rug decorator sets; you know, the one with the matching toilet seat cover, toilet skirt and bath rug that they sell in department stores. This picture is cut off at the hips, so there's no way to see what things look like down there, or from the back, but I'd say chances are good things are flapping in the breeze that shouldn't be. At all. Ever.

All in all, I'd say China's Fashion Week looks to have gone well. I wonder if their celebrities and fashionistas dress in their worst clothes when they go like ours do.