Someone has to tell Mimi that she's not a young girl anymore, even though this ensemble makes her look like the easy girl on the short bus. The Barbarella thing she's done with her hair just makes her big moon face look even bigger, and those bug-eyed wraparound shades just make her look cheekier.

What exactly do you call those shorts - corset shorts? Vestaloons? It looks like something an oversexed senior would wear to bingo night. They don't create the slimming effect I'm sure she was hoping for, and by the looks of things, I'm guessing those tights aren't the control top type. I'm just guessin'.

I realize that Mariah is one of the most diva-rocious of all divas today. She's got a sippy cup holder, a sweat blotter, a towel fetcher ... God knows what else her help does for her. It's downright creepy. But like Britney, she's her own worst enemy, and no one has the balls to stand up to her and tell her she looks lame dressed like a teenager.