Let's start with the good news: Dennis Quaid, who's turning 54 next month. That's right, 54. Note his excellent physical condition; the toned abs and chiseled pecs are downright hot. Even better, he has allowed his face to age naturally. He looks damn good for a pepaw.

The bad news is of course Mickey Rourke, who used to be a divine piece of manmeat, but now looks like a Steak-Ums and cheese left out in the sun for a month or so. He looks nothing like he did when he was younger. Yes, he was a boxer, but mere physical blows couldn't destroy a face like that. He looks like a freak.

The morale of the story? There is no turning back time, and there are worse things than being old. Plastic surgery is not the answer - for men or women. Once you start you can't stop, and before you know it, you look like Jocelyn Wildenstein. Or our friend Mickey. Both are too scary for the zoo.