By far the most shocking swimsuit shot of the week was John Mayer rocking the neon green nutsling that Borat made famous. No one is sure what possessed the usually restrained musician from showing the world his natural hairline, but you have to admit, he doesn't look so bad. Too bad he's such a douchebag.

Mariah Carey also entered the swimsuit competition in a tacky, pre-orchestrated topless shot. Note the wind is blowing, yet Mariah's breasts remain barely covered by her apparently glued-on hair extensions. Even though she is interrupted on a much needed vacation by a totally unexpected photographer the notoriously diva-licious star is all smiles. Those spray-on abs look much better on her than they did on Britney, don't they?

Finally we have Michael Flatley, who must be taking a break from all that Lord of the Dance-ing and sat down for a big steak dinner, because it shows. But that's OK. I still think he's kinda cute with his pudgy little chin and nimble little feet. Sensible man that he is, Flatley went with the traditional men's trunks as opposed to the banana sling or worse. All the same, he's the best out of a bad bunch.