I don't know why John Travolta is so concerned about hiding his hairline, which is rolling back faster than those prices at WalMart. I mean, it's not like anyone takes him seriously as a sex symbol anymore - that hasn't happened in at least a dozen years, if ever.

Recently John had taken to wearing hideous wigs with long stringy extensions that made him look like a set extra for The Benny Hill Show. I think Kelly probably concurred, because she hasn't done any red carpet shots with her husband for a while now.

John knew he had to make a change, but he's just so indecisive, so he asked his bath house buddies for their advice ... one teensy little massage and makeover later, the sleeker, more butch Travolta was unveiled. The look was a smashing success in the sauna, but didn't have the same effect on the red carpet. John doesn't mind, though. He just hums Broadway tunes under his breath until they go away again.