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February 12, 2008

Fashion Disaster: John Travolta Ditches Wig For Spray-On Hair

He did this to himself, right? Who in their right mind would pay someone else to spray paint their bald and thinning spots? Maybe the kids hid all his hairpieces again so he'd give them the keys to the Learjet. And why didn't Kelly say something? Well, she's been a beard for a long time; she's just gotten used to suffering in silence.

I don't know why John Travolta is so concerned about hiding his hairline, which is rolling back faster than those prices at WalMart. I mean, it's not like anyone takes him seriously as a sex symbol anymore - that hasn't happened in at least a dozen years, if ever.

Recently John had taken to wearing hideous wigs with long stringy extensions that made him look like a set extra for The Benny Hill Show. I think Kelly probably concurred, because she hasn't done any red carpet shots with her husband for a while now.

John knew he had to make a change, but he's just so indecisive, so he asked his bath house buddies for their advice ... one teensy little massage and makeover later, the sleeker, more butch Travolta was unveiled. The look was a smashing success in the sauna, but didn't have the same effect on the red carpet. John doesn't mind, though. He just hums Broadway tunes under his breath until they go away again.