Since we're discussing the decline of the dirtypillow in direct correlation with the advancing age of their holder (holster?) we'll start with the good news. That would be the lovely miss Rihanna in a stunning Max Azria Atelier goddess gown. Her boobs look quite firm, although her curves do look a bit Spanxx-ish. Girlfriend better start wearing a bra now and then, though, because things are heading down and out.

The bad news wearer/bearer this week goes to the adorable Drew Barrymore, shown in a gorgeous off-the-shoulder long clingy dress. The outfit would be perfect were it not for Drew's floppy, sloppy boobs, which look to be lunging for her navel. You'd think after Saturday Night Live she'd remember to tape those things down.

The moral of the story here is if you have breasts you must control them while learning to use their powers only for good. Otherwise it will look like you have pudding under your shirt.