We are blessed today with two fashion abominations to ruminate over. Contestant No. 1 is Wynonna Judd, country star and possible recidivist souse, resplendent in her mother's velvet drapes (she dumped her cookies 'n' cream all over her ballgown and didn't have time to change). She looks like the Ghost of Christmas Fat.

Contestant(s) No. 2 are the Knowles sisters, Beyonce and Solange, wearing yet another House of Dereon bargain bin special. Bright, shiny gold satin needs to be sleek and simple to work; otherwise you come off looking like gift-wrapped candies. The girls would never say no to Mama, though; she looks like she'd cut you for looking at her wrong.

Which is worse? Depends on where you're sitting. There are no winners here. It's like having to choose between death by wood chipper or industrial stapler; either one is going to hurt real bad.