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November 16, 2007

Friday Flashback: It Only Hurts When I Lift My Arm Like This.

Diary, Gossip, Music, TV, Vince Vaughn


I don't know why you put up with me. Your blotchy dishpan hands, the My Little Pony comb-over, your high-waisted polyester trousers ... you are such a ladykiller. But ever since I put that spyware in your phone you've seemed so distant. Don't throw it all away, baby. It's not like I can help it or anything. This week was full of all kinds of crazy - see what I mean after the jump.


David Letterman became a hero to the common man by paying his entire staff out of his pocket for the duration of the WGA strike. Ellen, on the other hand, blamed her guests for putting her on the spot by showing up, forcing her to continue making money while her writers starve.

The rather portly Alec Baldwin announced his new crusade to ban fatty junk foods from kids at school. I guess calling your daughter a little pig can cause that kind of epiphany in a person. He could save his breath and just show them what he looked like twenty years ago and what he looks like now. Carbs kill, kids.

Speaking of aging gracefully (not), Ayyy gives us a little before-and-after of Vince Vaughn. Yes, carbs kill, but carbs and booze combine in the bloodstream to create formaldehyde.

The best title on a post this week goes to mighty Defamer for their observance of the end of Milli Vanilli (see Short Ends). It was the beginning of the end for artistic integrity. Once forbidden, lip-synching is now almost expected from pop stars.

The beast known as Nancy Grace was rushed to the hospital for swelling dangerously, but was released shortly thereafter to teach that husband of hers about using "doggone good" to describe her.

Chelsy Davy decided she couldn't live without that hot ginger sex and moved to reconcile with Prince Harry. If he doesn't snort any more vodka or grope strange girls' boobies they just might have a chance.

See? Chelsy can forgive; can't you? I'll stop trying to run over your feet with the riding mower. I'll stop washing your clothes in Massengil and I'll even use fresh bread to make your sandwiches. Let me fluff your pillow. You might end up staying there longer than you planned.



 


 





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