People brought us the joyous news of Lindsay's release from rehab. Insiders says she's still not clean but her mother has bills to pay, so it's off she goes. Maybe it'll stick this time.

Eerily enough, Pete Doherty also got his walking papers today. You don't think ... nah, she can't be that far gone.

Danny Bonaduce put his steroids to good use, dumping a douche named Fairplay on his face. Not to worry - the DA has declined prosecution, probably because Danny was always his favorite Partridge.

Alyssa Milano hated on Derek Jeter for having less body hair while Denise and Charlie continued enriching their lawyers with their non-stop love fest.

In fashion news, John Mayer tried to hide his sexy in juvenile sportswear while Brooke Hogan terrorized a small Japanese fishing village (cue Godzilla sound effects).

And in the lucky in love department, Kate Hudson took what she wanted from Dax and upgraded to the billionaire model after seeing Melissa Rivers handing out warm, moist towelettes.

Well, that's our Bosh-tastic week in review. We hope you enjoyed the ride. Join us next week for more laughs, gaffes and carefully worded jabs, because you may not understand this now, but you'll thank us when you get older. Trust.