A wishful blogger claimed to bag some horizontal heaven with delicious George Clooney. Laugh if you must, but his camp isn't denying it, and she's still having trouble sitting without discomfort.

Britney Spears celebrated her minor victory in court by daring us to read her lips again.

Lindsay left Cirque Lodge in the company of a butterface snowboarder and talks about eschewing the Hollywood club life for the badlands of Utah. Dad's very proud while Mom's scratching at the window like a stray cat.

Bobby Brown had a cardiac scare that he later said didn't happen. x17 believed him, but PrettyBoring stuck to their guns.

Superparents Brad and Angelina yanked Maddox out of Lycee Francais after just a month to relocate to the Left Coast. So much for providing stability for a displaced child ... I'm sure he's used to it by now.

And lest ye think we're all gloom and doom, we rejoiced in the long-awaited pregnancies of two beautiful women who make hideous film choices.

And that's a wrap, folks. Remember to spay or neuter your weird friends and relatives, and enjoy a safe and restful weekend. Monday will be here before you know it, so you better be on your toes.