Hey, it doesn't seem to bother Mischa when her boobies are exposed - why should it bother a bunch of kids? It's not like she'll ever see them again (the kids, not her boobs). Mischa's not in it to make a contribution to a worthy cause; she's in it for the freebies.

Just think of it: Designers throwing their dresses at you. Never having to buy a drink or a meal again. Who needs a job when you can live like this? Mischa has taken milking her 15 minutes of fame to a higher level. She has no friends. After her bad trip and subsequent hospitalization Memorial Day weekend she's been dumped from the A-List club and party circuit. She has no boyfriend - nobody wants Cisco's leftovers, especially when they're all wattled and cheesy from lack of exercise.

All she has left is the red carpet - strike a pose, flash a flabby nipple here and there, and belly up to the cash bar. But her most recent appearance at Lincoln Center left bystanders shaking their heads in chagrin. At a benefit for Save the Children Mischa walked the red carpet in a sparkly yellow dress that left one of her nipples exposed for folks like former President Bush and Deepak Chopra to gaze upon. Her rep at first tried to deny it, saying that if it had happened, there would be a photo.

Well, here's your photo, Mr./Ms. Publicist. I'm sure Mischa won't lose any sleep over it, though; her nipples have seen more daylight than a field of sunflowers.