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September 27, 2007

Fashion Gone Wrong: Can't Control Your Boobs? Muzzle 'Em.

Fashion, Gossip


This has to be the oddest thing I've ever seen. It's being marketed as an alternative to the strapless bra for large-breasted women. Therein lies the rub: Big boobs don't have trouble holding stuff up. It's the little bitties that are strapless-challenged - but you couldn't pay me to strap my niblets into this ungodly contraption.


Doesn't it look uncomfortable? I don't get how it stays put - and wouldn't those thick straps show? I guess it would work for people like Mischa Barton who like to wear their shirts open to the navel, and whose nipples are so desensitized from overexposure that you could slam them in a car door and keep driving. I thought big boobs needed extra support but I guess if you cut off the circulation eventually rigor mortis will set in and you're set for life. Literally.

faveofreedom1.jpg

Meet the Faveo Freedom Bra. It was invented by a (mad?) scientist named Joanne Morgan who bought a backless dress but couldn't find a good strapless to keep her boobs out of her lap. Instead of just taking the dress back to the store and buying something that worked for her body type, she got tanked up on wine and started experimenting.

American women can stop shielding their breasts from this mammarian bear trap; it's not yet available in the US, but British and Australian women willing to shill out $50 can enjoy their freedom today ... although for a fraction of that price they can buy a muzzle at a pet store and a roll of duct tape to achieve the same effect.



 


 





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