You have to admit that the latest conquest of the Valtrex Princess is a very good-looking model type. He also looks as sharp as a box of hair. Can you imagine the stimulating conversations these two must have?

Paris just keeps on finding guys who must have been raised in an isolation booth; how else to explain how they get all tangled up in that? I always thought that guys had a secret pipeline where they share info on which girls are easy and which girls won't put out. I would think the same goes for which girls are subject to unsightly lesions for all the wrong reasons.

The himbo in the passenger seat is 20-year-old Alex Vaggo, a pizza delivery guy she met in Vegas. He'll probably be old news before the milk in the fridge goes bad; Paris' vahumhum has the attention span of an earthworm. Too bad for her; he looks like a tasty morsel. Too bad for Alex, too, that in a couple of weeks it's going to hurt when he pees.