Like, omigod, would she really stoop that low? So much for turning over a new leaf. We always knew that was a PR stunt; sooner or later the real Paris always kind of oozes out.

If Paris didn't post this flier, then who did? It's only hanging on the entrance gate to her Hollywood Hills home. We can thank the good folks at http://justjared.buzznet.com for sharing the wealth; it's an instant classic. Check it out after the jump.

It's awfully suspicious that only one copy has been posted, at the home of her archnemesis, where it was sure to be spotted by paparazzi.

The text reads:
"LOST DOG - HAVE YOU SEEN HER?

Age: 3 in dog years
Weight: Anorexic
Eyes: Dilated
Coat: Spotted/Freckled
Breed: Freckle-bellied Cokewhore Terrier

My dog was last seen on the morning of July 24, 2007 chasing cars in Santa Monica. She will answer to the call of: Lilo, LSquared, LoHoe and Dime Bags, 2 for 10 dollars. She was also last seen carrying her favorite toys: a little white bag we call her "doggy bag" and her favorite black ankle bracelet. Please come home!
If you have any information, please call ----- or go to -----.
All the change in my couch will be offered for information leading to the safe return of my dog."

If Paris wrote this, I think she's found her calling - can't sing, can't act, but can snark with the snarkiest ... and take it up the butt for coke.