This week, we discussed the longevity of the Jennifer Lopez-Marc Anthony union. I think he might be a vampire. Have you noticed he's been looking lively while she's been looking dishwater lately?

We poked a little fun at Kim Kardashian, because with an ass like that, she'd be impossible to miss.

We fell head over heels with those tres chaud boot-sandal things that Olsen twin was wearing.

We sat agape as we witnessed the petty (yet surprisingly funny) cruelty of Paris Hilton as she publicly mocked her fallen nemesis. I always wondered what a speckle-bellied cokewhore terrier looked like.

We were blown away by Michelle Pfeiffer's enduring beauty and wondered what the hell Chloe was thinking.

Stay tuned next week to get a good dose of bosh-ulism. It won't make your fine lines disappear, but neither will snake venom or sheep placenta.