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Diane Keaton Wonders Why She Never Auditioned For Mary Poppins

OK, sure, Julie Andrews is a little less intimidating. Diane is smart, though - she could've learned the English accent. We're not even sure if she can sing, but look how sad she looks in this picture - is she wondering what her life would have been like if she'd chosen Dick van Dyke instead of Woody Allen?

Slow news day ... No, nothing so dramatic - Diane's probably wondering where the hell her stylist is. She's having trouble walking in the way-too-big boots and needs to take her 4:00 meds.


OK, I'll stop. I don't know what meds Keaton is or isn't on, or when she's supposed to take them. I do know that this depressing dishrag of an outfit is the worst thing I've ever seen her in, and that's saying alot. The big heavy Santa Claus belt makes her look like she's got 60-inch hips, and the tarred-and-feathered skirt looks like it was made from one of those rag rugs Grandma used to keep in front of the kitchen sink.

Best of all, though, are the boots - manly, frumpy old grampy boots, the kind a woman might be able to get away with if worn with faded jeans and a hunt club blazer, but not with a skirt, especially one made from a rag rug.

Is Keaton finally losing her sense of style? No, not likely. She probably just woke up in a grumpy mood, or is being made to attend a function she doesn't want to attend. The eyes rolled up are a pretty good indicator of exasperation - or maybe the belt is cutting off the air supply to her diaphragm.













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