British newspaper The Sun quotes the Texan turnip brain as saying that she would still consider breast surgery if her jugs "dropped down" to her bellybutton.

"I haven't had any plastic surgery," she said.

"But maybe after having kids, if my boobs dropped down to my belly button, I would get them lifted.

"But you know, my boobs are real."

Someone needs to sit Simpson down and remind her that she hasn't hit 30 years of age just yet. No reason to start panicing about the mams dropping for another several years. Unless of course you are insinuating something by relating to "having kids." Hmmmm, just food for thought.

Whatever the reason for Jessica's latest mind numbing publicity stunt, you've got to admire the girl for looking after her bread and butter. The only thing lower than the lowest distance her boobs stand a chance to fall is her chances of ever becoming famous without em.