PARIS HILTON PREPS FOR PERP WALK

Move over Naomi, it's Paris' turn to show the world how a perp walk is really done. The Daily News reports that Paris has enlisted the help of various stylists-extraordinaire to show up at her home on Monday morning just before she's expected to check into the clink to serve a 45-day jail sentence for violating her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

Sources close to the fallen heiress claim she's going through great lengths to ensure her perp walk outshines anything seen under a tent at Bryant Park during Fashion Week. "Paris doesn't do contrite very well,"the source adds. "She will be glam, and Paris is the queen of the prop. Expect her hair pulled back in a ponytail, big sunglasses and maybe a Holy Bible under one arm. And she just got a new kitten, so maybe she'll hand that to her sister as she gets out of the car... There might even be tears." HOT!

The spectacle is sure to make for one very entertaining beginning of the week as every paparazzi worth his or her weight in Paris sex tape vids will surely be on the stake-out. "The timing is to make sure she makes all the celebrity weeklies," the source tells the newspaper. "Paris is a genius at marketing herself. She managed to turn having a sex tape to her benefit, and she's going to do the same out of going to prison."

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But apparently, this brouhaha is less about outdoing phone-flinging supermodels than it is about ensuring capital gains. "It's not just about marketing, it's about making money. If she can set up her entry into jail in a very grand way, the payoff will be greater."

And we all know there's nothing more Paris is in need of these days than some extra cash. 45 precious days wasted in the slammer is bound to hurt her in any one of her gazillion Versace pocketbooks. Right???? Riiiiiiiight!

By Emmis Rodriguez