Madonna, Madonna, Madonna

PageSix

When Madonna showed up an hour late to designer Jean Paul Gaultier's couture show in Paris Wednesday, the claws came out. The Material Mom, masked in giant black sunglasses, was whisked through the crowd behind a phalanx of muscleheads, who steamrolled reporters on the way to her seat. Adding insult, she waived off questions about her reported split from Guy Richie and the sudden death of her ex-brother-in-law, Chris Penn. Of course, the Brits got their revenge: "Her skin was stretched taut across her razor-sharp cheekbones , and her chin was puckered in a most unflattering manner," the London Mirror sniped.