London is abuzz with the news that the Literary Review has made its selection for this year’s Bad Sex in Fiction Award. At the In and Out Pub, it was announced that columnist Giles Coren had beat out John Updike, Paul Theroux, and Salman Rushdie with an appalling passage from his debut novel “Winkler.�?

The official purpose of the Bad Sex in Fiction Award is “to draw attention to the crude, tasteless, often perfunctory use of redundant passages of sexual description in the modern novel, and to discourage it."

On the second page of “Winkler�? it is revealed that the protagonist will be sodomized against his will. Yet that is truly nothing as compared to the “winning�? lick, if you can pardon the pun. Here it is:

"And he came hard in her mouth and his dick jumped around and rattled on her teeth and he blacked out and she took his dick out of her mouth and lifted herself from his face and whipped the pillow away and he gasped and glugged at the air, and he came again so hard that his dick wrenched out of her hand and a shot of it hit him straight in the eye and stung like nothing he'd ever had in there, and he yelled with the pain, but the yell could have been anything, and as she grabbed at his dick, which was leaping around like a shower dropped in an empty bath, she scratched his back deeply with the nails of both hands and he shot three more times, in thick stripes on her chest. Like Zorro."