Does Paris Hilton date so many fabulously rich men because she likes the idea of giving herself heirs? She certainly was putting on airs at the 2B Free fashion show in L.A. on October 15. Notified that Paris Latsis had arrived on the scene, she daintily requested that his ass get kicked the hell out of the joint.

Meanwhile a rumor is circulating that Mary-Kate Olsen had a nookie moment with Latsis, possibly in revenge for Paris Hilton's having run off with her boyfriend Stavros Niarchos. If the beds get any more musical in celebrity land, very high thread count sheets will soon be dancing Swan Lake. Paris with the penis, it is said, is still calling Paris with the vagina, but she snaps shut on him like a teeny weeny tight cell-phone.

Animal psychologists have various explanations for why a dog will keep returning to the same hydrant to water it. That psychology, however, does not keep Paris Hilton from lapping up her baklava rolls with nuts. She and Stavros are said to be on the verge of apologizing to those few public places in L.A. where they have not virtually had sex in the open. (By Scott Rose)