A Shaggy Martha Story

Up in yonder Windsor, Nova Scotia, the grand Pumpkin Regatta was scheduled for October 8. Lil Kim didn't want to go anyway, but Martha Stewart did. She used her talk show as a forum for talking about how very sad she was over not being able to attend the Pumpkin Regatta; Canadian officials then became aware of her plight and called the domestic diva and jail bird to tell her she could fly into maple leaf territory whenever she wants.

It all came to naught; bad weather prevented Martha from being able to fly north. She had just been dreaming of pumpkin pie in the sky. Gourd have mercy! (By Scott Rose)