She Ain't Heavy, She's Oprah

John Travolta . . . who had to get remarried to his wife Kelly Preston after their first wedding, which had been performed by a French Scientologist minister, was declared illegal . . . gave Oprah a $400,000 Rolls-Royce for Christmas last year.

Kirstie Alley, known to friends as "The Fat Scientologist," discussed body issues on Oprah's show and then got Miss O's interior designer Nate Berkus to completely re-style her house.

Though Jenna Elfman and Priscilla and Lisa-Marie Presley are also Dianetics-carrying Scientologists, the king-pin in this is of course Tom Cruise. Wagging tongues are insinuating that he wants to buy a mansion in Montecito just up the way from Oprah's estate for the purpose of converting her. Were she to be snagged into the fold, along with her 30 million regular viewers, it would be a real coup, which I note rhymes with kuku.

Before the struggle ends, though, poor Tom might get strained to the point where he has to consult a psychiatrist, because let's face it, once somebody goes around a certain bend, only the meds are going to bring them back. As reported in Star, Oprah was going to do a TV special with Cruise on Scientology but when he found out that critics of the cult would be given equal time with him, he said words to the effect that he'd rather go back with Nicole. (By Scott Rose)