When Donald Rumsfeld tours Iraq, do you think he does so in one of the inadequately protected Humvees that the troops are given? Not on your life, and especially not on his! He rides in a Rhino Runner, made to withstand the explosive attacks regularly unleashed by the insurgency. Why are all US soldiers not protected by Rhino Runners? According to the New York Times, it's because the military has "a 40-year-old procurement system that stymies the acquisition of new equipment quickly enough to adapt to the changing demands of a modern insurgency."

In a separate, unfunny joke, General George W. Casey, Jr. has issued 11 rules on a wallet-size laminated card which advise the 139,000 troops in Iraq on topics including learning Iraqi customs. One of those rules should have been followed by Bush and Rumsfeld when they undertook this war. "Be patient. Don't rush to failure." (By Scott Rose)