Even if you're the world's biggest fan of love-themed reality television shows, you would probably be better off if you skipped the rest of "The Bachelorette". Star magazine is reporting that the man who is currently on Jen Schedfft's arm is not the one she will choose in the finale next week. They broke up shortly after filming. Instead, she is now dating her boss. Way to climb the corporate ladder, babe.

Madonna has finally found the role of a lifetime. She will be playing a transvestite in an upcoming movie. The material girl has nabbed the role of Warhol factory favorite, Candy Darling, and is even refusing a salary to do so. (Doesn't sound so material to me.) So many drag queens have portrayed Miss Madge over the years that I'm guessing she felt she owed it to them.

I hope Lindsay Lohan (pictured shopping last weekend) changed her phone number before Paris's address book was leaked. Prank phone calls are the last thing she needs right now. Her controversy-courting father was arrested AGAIN for DWI this weekend (as reported earlier) and is trying to con the family into doing a reality show. Sure, people would watch. Just like people can't help watching car crashes. In addition, busty Lohan is also dealing with a breast reduction. It turns out early screeners of her upcoming movie, Herbie: Fully Loaded were a tad distracted by her ample assets. Disney is now looking into digitally reducing her monster mammaries.

You're likely to never again see so much black at a wedding. Shock rocker, Marilyn Manson and his fiancee, Betty Paige copycat, Dita von Teese, are planning on tying the knot in April. I don't know how they'll out creep Carmen Electra and Dave Navarro's wedding invitations, but I'm sure they'll manage.

Renee Zellweger must have a thing for musicians. Just a few months after her break up with Jack White was made official, she's been out on the town with Mercury Prize winning Irishman, Damien Rice. I wonder how Jack's handling this "cannonball".

Elizabeth Hurley played the devil in Bedazzled and now she'll play a witch in Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. The Sun reports that Liz is being tapped for the role of Bellatrix Lestrange, one of evil Voldemort's followers.

Jessica Simpson sure isn't acting like a married woman lately. Rumors are flying that she followed up her husband's Superbowl flirting with a little bit of the same herself. According to Australia's NW, Mrs. Lachey was cozying up to John Mayer - at her father's request! Even Nicole Richie noticed the sparks between them. "They were practically hooking up at Clive’s [Davis, founder of Arista Records] party," she said. I think Jessica's just dying to hear John tell her that her body is a wonderland.