In Touch gives a blow-by-blow analysis of the two suits Michael Jackson has worn thus far to the trial against him, including comments on the royal flourishes in his accessories, such as a crest saying "ER," which probably stands for Elizabeth Regina; it is of course no secret that the King of Pop really always wanted to be the Queen of something; and it's strange that In Touch made no mention of how Queen Michael's heavy application of blood red lipstick might affect jurors' perceptions of him. I'm still pushing for the accusers' parents' naked derrieres to be whacked with wood paddles, as a deterrent to future idiots who might want to let their children near Queen Michael, in order to later accuse him of stuff and nonsense. (By Scott Rose)