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This entry's title is, of course, a poem by Shakespeare, but Sylvia is also a comic strip by Nicole Hollander, who has a culinary tip all should heed: Wrap left over turkey in aluminum foil, and then throw it away. (BY SCOTT ROSE)




November 28, 2004


FilmThreat.com has released its list of the 50 coldest people in Hollywood, among whom are included Nicole Kidman and Ben Affleck. Does this mean that if either of them called whoever is the head of FilmThreat, and invited that person to lunch, that person would refuse? Halle Berry was number 2 on the list, showing us that the list makers wouldn't recognize a coldwave if it moved into their pants. (BY SCOTT ROSE)



November 27, 2004

Walmart Heir-head ruined

1123paige268.jpgWhile I have not graced Walmart with my presence in many years, I can only imagine the joys of having all the red state money for shopping at Asprey in New York. Actually the Walmart Heir-girls would probably do Gucci, since that is universal (red states know GUCCI) --

So I will sympathize with the rich blonde Walmart Heir- girl who is accused of cheating, when I first read the headline it said Walmart Heiress Cheating, I said to myself that slut - well it was not the cheating I expected, the slut comment remains, I am sure it applies somewhere, Paige (Heir-girl) is accused by a jealous, old, bitter, washed up roommate who will never be as rich - of paying to this roommate in question $20,000 to write papers, etc., way to go Paige, how on earth is a rich blonde (not the stereotypical "blonde", could be a good dye job) girl supposed to succeed after nights of partying.

Well, after the cheat scandal broke the girls at the University of Missouri who were naming an arena after the heiress even though she never attended the school changed their mind. Well, I guess that will end all the donations to UOM from Paige's dad. I say sue Paige, do not let some washed up girl try to ruin give you spilt ends.


November 27, 2004


Desperate Housewives star Eva Longoria has told Maxim that the best kiss of her life was shared with actress Maria Bravo, Bruce Willis' ex-girlfriend. The two kissed on the set of "Carlita's Secret," and can't seem to shut up about how great it was. Are they campaigning for sexual liberation,and more importantly, tolerance of sexual difference, or are they angling for maximum publicity for their film? Stay tuned to see which happens first; society's acceptance of lesbianism, or blockbuster sales for "Carlita's Secret." (BY SCOTT ROSE)




Star reports that Goldie Hawn, who has an open relationship with Kurt Russell, has been having a steamy fling with Imran Khan, Pakistan's greatest cricket player, whose ex-wife Jemima Khan is now dating Hugh Grant. Sooner or later, everybody dates everybody else on the rumor mill. But Star's story on Goldie is so poorly evidenced that I would tell Goldie to lift that middle finger right up, and blow them a kiss. (BY SCOTT ROSE)



When Anna Nicole Smith, then in her twenties, married oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall, then approaching 90, nobody doubted she was a gold-digger. After her November 14 appearance at the American Music Awards, during which she blundered her introduction for rapper Kanye West, slurring her words, few seem to doubt she has returned to abusing pain-killers, to which she had admitted a former addiction. Two of her lawyers explain her erratic behavior at the awards show by saying she couldn't read the teleprompter because she has bad eyes and that she was nervous. Looking at the photos accompanying all this news in Star, I conclude that the lady needs professional help, with her wardrobe! (BY SCOTT ROSE)


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